Text: The words of Margaret Sutherland, compiled by Katy Abbott.

Splitting the Ambivalence in psychology terms is about polarising positions between two separate entities (such as a couple, two countries for example) so that any question between them becomes an either/or scenario. This or That. There is no middle ground.

When reading the words of Margaret Sutherland and noticing how she is often referred as feisty, strong-willed, a get-things-done kind of woman – I wondered about her other side – the side that isn’t so visible to the public and the public perception of Margaret versus what might be the ‘real’ Margaret.

Her writing, her letters, her music and the stories that accompany her life, paint an image of a woman unafraid to rattle the establishment, described often as “incensed” and “indignant” we are left with a sense of a woman who (somewhat admirably) took on the world and all of its irritations with great insouciance. Entitled, opinionated and sedulous in putting angry pen to paper, criticising where – in her less than humble opinion – critique was long overdue!

But of more interest to me was the split – the underlying gentleness, the wistfulness, the delicacy, romanticism almost that also appears in her work and reflections. The image staring back in the mirror, the white against the black; ambivalence.

It was tempting to only choose text which would portray her wonderful stubbornness and her forthright ideas, or stories that would delve into relationship dramas with colleagues and the ABC!

Certainly, she cannot be genuinely captured without that insight but the gentle reminiscing and the soft-focus descriptions, in particular in her life as a child, offers completeness. I wonder at the moments when Margaret Sutherland superbly ‘belonged to herself’ and how that made the woman and the composer.

© Katy Abbott / Maureen Johnson. 2022

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The Australian Music Centre